“A Loving State of Mind.”

Love and romance are enigmas. They can entail so many different things for different people. Just when you think you have it all figured out, you learn something new. You hear something, see something or read something that completely resets your ideas about romance. This is especially true for romantics – those people who believe in the power of love. There are hopeless romantics and there hopeful romantics, like myself. We’re hopeful but still realistic about love. We understand that there’s a part both partners play, and “it takes two to make a thing go right.”

Before You Even Think about a Relationship

I’m especially talking about a woman’s role in a relationship. For starters, women should approach a relationship with a strong sense of self, the determination to weather through storms and the strength it takes to love themselves. It’s troubling to hear women claim that having a man completes them. It’s OK to expect a mate inspire them and motivate. It’s not OK when the only inspiration and motivation a woman gets is from that man. That kind of expectation is unrealistic with the challenges and pressures of life and can become increasingly difficult for a man to live up to.  A woman must to come to the relationship whole and secure, loving who she is – even when there’s no man in her life.  

Men, on the other hand, need to understand that women are attracted to men who are confident, reliable, and decisive. (And a sense of humor is a bonus!) Make sure you have worked through any personal issues before you step up to the plate.  Make sure you’re not allowing ego and pride to affect how you respond to the opposite sex. Allow yourself to experience love to the fullest. I guarantee that unresolved personal hang-ups will carry over into the relationship. Although they may not come out initially, they will show up later on down the road and wreak havoc on the relationship. 

When you are in a loving state of mind love and romance are more likely to come to you. That means be happy with yourself. Look in the mirror and be happy with what you see. Now, I DON'T mean look in the mirror and appreciate how attractive you are, I’m talking about liking who you are. You get there by continuing to strive to be the very best person you can be, loving yourself no matter what, and not letting society dictate who you should be. Don’t compare yourself or your life to anyone else’s. Be authentic. Do the things you need to do to be happy with who you are. Eating healthy, exercise, meditation, yoga, walking and rewarding yourself for accomplishments big or small, are things that lend to your happiness. Take good care of yourself so you can take care of others.

Remember that happiness is a choice. People can bring us joy through their deeds, but that’s not where true happiness comes from. Surround yourself with positive people. Remove all negative aspects from your life. This will make it so much easier to choose happiness.

It is also important to build a good support system, and have wonderful friends who love you for who you are and not for what you do or what you have.  If you have issues with family, friends, co-workers or peers, confront these issues head-on. Forgive people and move on so you can concentrate on having the life you want. Your mind will be more open to receive love if you choose happiness and lose the hang-ups before inviting someone into your life. Sharing love is a lot better than sharing misery. Love and romance are not just states of mind. If you are miserable, you will not be able to love someone else fully.

Now, no one is perfect, and you may enter a relationship while you are still working out issues within yourself. In fact, you may not have it all worked out prior to marriage; but, you should enter the marriage whole, knowing who you are and what you want out of life. You can work together on a plan to get there, whatever that means to you both. You may not have a road map, but that is where working together should make life easier. It is called building a life together.

This subject is, by no means, done! Stay tuned for more. It is way too deep for just one article!

Mary A. Chatman is the Founder and Chief Romantic Decorating Officer at Love life Designs, LLC.
P 770-614-6526 or 1-888-403-2444 | F 770-614-6527
400 Peachtree Industrial Blvd. | Suite 5-281 | Suwanee, GA 30024
www.lovelifedesignsllc.com
www.lovelifedesignsllc.com/blog
Follow us on twitter! http://twitter.com/LoveLifeDesLLC
Friend us on Face Book!  http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/pages/httptwittercomLoveLifeDesLLC/Love-Life-Designs/143197023605?ref=ts&__a=24&ajaxpipe=1

 “The Art of Romantic Decorating and Design, Because Romance Really Matters”